baby blues.

When you  find out your having your first baby there are so many emotions that you feel all at once, your happy, your scared and your excited. For me I had all of those emotions plus one that most don't feel, sadness. I was sad because the one person I thought would be by my side all 9 months lived 14 hours away. My mom.

My mom and I are super close and I always knew that when the time came for me to have a baby that she would go to every appointment with me and take in the joy and excitement that a new baby brings, sadly that didn't happen for me. I was pregnant  in another state nowhere near my mom. I was lucky enough to have the wonderful support of Leah and her family but it wasn't the same, and when I began to experience complications with my pregnancy the longing for my mom became stronger. 

The months dragged on and in early June my pregnancy took a negative turn fast. I had been having problems with my blood pressure and on June 10th it all came to a head. I was kept in the hospital overnight to try and lower my blood pressure. We were still 5 weeks from my due date and I wanted to make sure the baby was healthy and I was going to do everything I could to keep her baking just a little longer. My body had other plans. On the 11th after returning home and my blood pressure rising once more my doctor made the decision to induce me. My mind went into overdrive and this unexpected news did nothing good for my blood pressure. This isn't how it was supposed to happen, we had a date planned, my mom isn't here, she is supposed to be here. The moment threw me into a panic attack. 

After rushing to pack my bags and the baby's bag we rushed to the hospital. My doctor assured me that we would not begin inducing until the next afternoon. My mom would leave the next morning and God willing she would get there in time. Leah and her mom were amazing! They did everything they could to make sure I was as comfortable as possible. When my husband had to leave to make the two hour drive to pick up my mom and grandma Leah didn't leave my side.Then at 2 am on the morning of June 13th all the pain seemed to ease as the one person I needed more than anyone walked through the door. My mom was here, she had made it. The remaining few hours she took over and was with me holding my hand until we heard my beautiful daughter's first cry.

So in the end even though it didn't all happen the way I had planned it all worked out just fine. I had a healthy, beautiful daughter and I had my mom.